A PSA To All Hackers

I promised to go back to my old writing style of connected nonsense. Well, I'm going to have to break that here for a bit, as I rant over hackers. If you don't understand a thing I'm saying, here's the TL;DR: Hackers suck.

Ookay, lets go. That's right, two "o"'s. Because I'm cool rike that. Recently, I was involved in a match of Conquest Domination in BFTree. Heh. Big fucking tree. Oops, profanity. I just stole the virginity of your angelic eyes. How did he do? Well, initially, the dude was doing crap. Going 3-11 within 5 minutes of the game. Oh, and while we're on topic, the dude's name is gordonwilliams56. Just in case an admin is reading this. Avoid this man at all costs (if he is a man at all). He was last seen on one of BBF's servers. The sensible players on the server had a nice chat about the dude. Judging by his noobiness, we assumed that he was a total noob (Captain Obvious was there, obviously). The match was fairly equal, with both sides roughly equal in terms of tickets (give or take 3 to 5 tickets per side, but that's to be expected). Then, all of a sudden, the bottom ranked player on the other team headshots me. Now, I was not very concerned with this yet, since he's still at the bottom of the list. I was starting to have suspicions, though, as people started asking "is this dude a hacker?" throughout the open channel. I didn't think much for the next 5 minutes, as the two sides were still fairly even. However, I did do constant scoreboard checks to make sure our marked man was only a false positive. If only that were the case. About 7 minutes later, and being headshotted again by the same dude, I knew something was up. The dude went balls out in hacking, and we finished the match in a disaster. The next match was coming up, so I decided to try as hard as I can to make his life miserable. I knew that smoke and suppression have no effect on the dude. What could I do? All I could do was to try to win in another method: capping flags. This worked initially, and throughout the middle half of the match. But the dude kept suppressing our team with his insane headshotting "skills". Luckily, I managed to kill him a number of times while he was reloading (the dude was too noob to press the "2" key to switch weapons... hehe). By the end of the game, he went 111-10. I rage quitted by this point.

Why would a person pay money to automate a game? Where's the fun in that? I'll just get bored after 5 minutes (after the novelty wears off). Seriously, if I can't play a game well, I either learn to play, or I quit the game completely. Why would you let a bot do something that you can accomplish yourself? Where's the fun in that? What's your sense of accomplishment, hacker? Is it your massively huge KDR? Or is it your insane killstreak? Neither of those things matter in Battlefield. Please go back to COD and may Athe strike you down with thunder.

So, rant over. Not really a rant, just an after actions report (AARP). I might do more of those for the future. Kinda like fanfic, except with military terms and stuff. Interested? Yes, no, toaster?

Ahh, so the phrase "Yes, no, toaster". Where did it come from? What does it mean?

Well, my dear, it's a term used by Quebecois, regardless of their primary language. It's a stereotype for them to perceive the rest of Canada as French-illiterate, and only capable of speaking and understanding the words "oui, non, toasteur" (which, is mighty accurate, mind you). It's obviously been Anglicized for English speakers. So why did I use it? What does it mean? It's used in speech to make sure the listener's listening, and fully understands what you're saying to them. Kinda like the words "right?" and "yaknowhatimean?". Try it out next time. It's funny for people who know what it means (kinda like a province wide inside joke).

So how did I hear of this? Cadets. Just like where I hear everything else from. I had a CO (commanding officer, for the military illiterate) who is an Anglophone from Montreal. She had a tendency to ask us that question every time she asked for clarification. We were all quite confused by the phrase; we all thought the "toaster" part was to throw us off to make sure we were still listening. We all half expected her to change the noun to something else, like "marshmallows", or "stapler". Nope. She stuck with it. And then she told us the meaning, just like how I spoiled it to you.

My other blog is getting massively personal. I should probably change a thing or two about it. You know, it's funny. This blog acts as a watchdog for the other blog, while the other blog acts as a watch dog for this blog.

All of a sudden, this blog post also ended. Good night, and good hunting.

Woah, there, I got too close. Should back off for a moment. And I won't clarify what I meant by those words. Only I will understand. I'll keep it contextually ambiguous by mentioning armoured vehicles I'll mention it on my other brog, then.

NO, ARMOURED IS SPELLED CORRECTLY, YOU YANKEE BASTARD!

/rant. LOL jokes. My rant's not over. At least, it's over for the Americans. Time for the French Canadians to take a beating.


JOKES AGAIN! You think I'll go around spewing hatred all over the place? THIS AIN'T MEIN KAMPF, BEH BEE!


So, the highlight of this week was probably my weekend. Spent a weekend in some French town (city? screw it. They're all called "ville"s anyways. What a vile way to call a city). I'll gradually release the stories over time. We'll start off with one of my old camp stories.

My friend (we'll call him by his callsign... Juliet *snicker*) and I were chilling in the sweating heat of the Bagotville summer day. Sierra (our other friend, obviously a callsign as well) was off somewhere reading his Tom Clancy book. It's gotten so hot that our fire detector's gone off twice already the day before because of (now, I'm just guessing here) the humidity. What does humidity have to do with anything, you ask? I have no idea. But the point was, it was raining so damn hard the night before, and it was so damn hot, that the entire base was saturated beyond a bronze-leaguer trying to macro. Our flight sergeant (Zulu) came along, assembled our flight (Charlie 4, Kiowa Flight), and told us to change for swimming (but to wear our PT gear over all that crap. We did as we were told, and we marched down to the parade square. The parade square is a flat, asphalt (is it asphalt? it was pink/red/thingish) with numerous benches and planes on it.

They placed car wash water pipes all around the place. Heck, they also had water balloons everywhere. Oh? What's that? You don't know what's a car wash water pipe? Think a rectangular structure made of a pipe, with holes poking out so water can spew out and wash a car. Yeah, they had that at the parade square.The water's pretty pressurized, and it's cold as hell. So you know what me and my friends did? We gathered up about 30 other cadets, and formed an impromptu flight. We slow marched through the 5 car wash gates. In slow march. SLOW MARCH. Meaning a step was taken every second, at a tempo of 60 steps per foot per minute. You actually feel like a car, with the ice cold water spraying at you at a high velocity. Not only that, but people started throwing water balloons at us, and giant beach balls pummeled the area like artillery shells.

This is probably one of my more formal posts. Shall I continue with more camp stories? Or more about my laifu?

  
"Ja, ja, nein nein, Apfelstrudel Hofmeister und Holsten Pils

Achtung Liebfraumilch in Porsche oompah Vorsprung durch Technik"

Just some wise words from the incredible Robert Bennington, as he sings us the (unofficial) lyrics of the European Anthem. EUROPE HAS AN ANTHEM??!? Yes, Victoria, there is a European anthem. It's Beethoven's 9th Symphony or something. Either that, or Ode to Joy. Whatever, I'm not a music major (heck, no one reading this even cares). Anyways, the official anthem has no words, to display the notion of equality among nations within the EU.

Hey, wait a minute. Doesn't EU stand for Etats-Unis in French? How the hell do they distinguish from the European Union? If they saw the English name on a sign, wouldn't it confuse the heck out of them? Just food for thought :S.

WOOT!! Me steadicam is done. All that's left is a lot of practice, and a lot of fapping to gain more arm muscles. The total mass is about 2 or 3 kilograms (which isn't much, I know), but once you hold it continuously for hours, it starts to get to you.

Wanna see a bit of my rapping skills? Well, here it goe-

HAH!!! GOTCHA! I ain't gonna rap here! That stuff's copyrighted material! I wouldn't wanna sue anyone... Heh...

In other news, I think I've solved my problem of the "phone". If I ever need a phone, I'll buy a Nexus 4 from Google and get a SIM prepaid card from some random carrier. Phone is $300, and service is around $10-$20. Sure, it's initially pretty expensive, but it pays off in the long run. It's equivalent to about 4 and a half months of paying for an iPhone with a plan.

First update on time in two weeks. Or was that three weeks? Doesn't matter. I still updated.

I've stopped playing WOT (thank athe), but now I've picked up SC2 again (athedammit). Oh, these games. Today, I got cheesed four times in a row. IN A ROW. I thought people stopped cheesing! WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE??!? But I seriously need to practice my skills over the summer... Need to get into platinum :D

Well, my 5 minutes with you is now over. Good night, and good luck.

HOTS

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Hah, I didn't update my brog on Sunday. On a scale of 1 to mad, how mad are you?  I had no idea that Howard would actually update his brog before I did. Life is full of surprises, isn't it?

So, back on topic. We never had a topic, did we? No we didn't. But that doesn't mean we don't, do we not? By not having a topic, we now have a topic of not having a topic. Funny how things work like this. Kinda like No Name brand, now copyrighted by Robraws. What is Robraws? Well, it's Loblaws, but in Chinese... geddit? Cheesy, no? Also you have no sense of humour if you laughed half-heartedly. You're also terribly stereotypical if you understood what "Robraws" meant without me explaining it. Either way, you're a terrible person. I don't even know you, and I can diagnose this.

WOOT, got my first tier 5 tank on Sunday. M4 and the 105mm cannon (or derp gun according to the WoT community) is beast. I'm basically an armoured tank destroyer. My first game with that thing resulted in 5 kills. FIVE KILLS. Friggin' Barack Obama only got one kill when he personally went to assassinate Bin Laden. Did you know his middle name is Hussein? Not to be political, or anything, but that's the same last name as a certain former Iraqi President. So, basically, Obama has a last name that rhymes with the first name of the most hunted man of the last decade, as well as the middle name of the target of a man whose name rhymes with "Beorge Gush". I guess Hussein is a pretty common name.

So this post will be extra long. Why, do you ask? Don't I have something better to do? Well, you tell me. I'm in French class right now, and we have a whole period to write two sentences. TWO sentences. My dead cat, who never existed but now does as a result of me mentioning him, can write more than that. And I'm so lazy, I'm not actually writing anything. We're split in 6 groups to do this task.

Rest of post will have no possessive words, like "the", "this", etc. LULZ did you actually think I would do that? Hah. JUST KIDDING.

Oh man, I flopped so hard on the math test. What is done is done. Dare Illi D, while we're still at it. If I'm ever going to be a philosopher, I am going to try as hard as I can to popularize that idiom.

I guess this post won't be as long as I thought it would be. Oh well.

OMG, ELEMENT 80 UPDATED HER BROG!!!

Very Exciting

WORLD OF TANKS is fun again :S Don't ask why. I dunno.

This will be rather short, since I have another blog to update, and I have homework as well.

So, where to start? Chicken tastes good. I just had it. It tastes really good. So is House. He doesn't taste good, but his show sure is good. He even cooks good, which kinda links back to the first sentence. Him and Freddiew are kinda rubbing off on me (House' cynicism, and Freddiew's rashness (is that the right word?)). I wouldn't mind having House' lack of emotion... It can come useful sometimes :D

Currently, I'm laughing while reading about "administration of drugs via the rectum". I dunno why. Maybe because of the word "rectum". Heh. I just remembered my French homework (crap), and I also remembered that I say "crap" alot. Also, "alot"'s not a word, apparently. Whatever. It will be.

Ever notice how incredibly bland this site is? It's optimized for crack users, so they can use  my site as a blank canvas while they get high. Keeps them from being too distracted.

I think I got like 50 or 60 (a quick check on facebook says "62") b-day wishes yesterday. So many replies. My creative abilities are at their limit, all because of the English WIT (crap), and Summer Film Story.

Another abrupt ending. Oops, I did it again. Get that reference? It means you're old. O_O

Ever notice how the background colour of this pag- NO, BLOGGER, I SPELLED COLOUR CORRECTLY-e is white, just like cocaine? Could be a coincidence, but it could also be fate.
So my internet's total gypsy poo right now, as a result of the Superbowl, and Lunar New Year (thank you, Juressa- NO, BLOGGER, THAT'S A NAME... AND WHAT THE HECK IS A "SAUSSURE"?- for reminding me of what the actual name was for Chinese New Year.) At the worst, I couldn't even check my emails to see if anyone's died yet. Do you know what that even means? Or how that feels? Actually, if you're Howard (HEY HOWARD), you probably do know how it feels. It's like watching the Joker slowly cutting a young puppy (LIKE BOO!), letting it bleed, and then promptly starting to choke it.... And then letting it breathe again to ensure that it's still alive. You wanna kill the damn thing, but you're tied to a chair, and your eyes are forced to watch as the puppy dies in a slow and agonizing manner. Basically, that's how it feels when I can't access my email. Volunteering today was mighty fine; got to practice my French for a bit (Il y a des blocques la si vous voulez de mettre les sur le sculpture). As a wise, Englishman involved with the adult film business once put it, "Screw the French" (translation: "Screwer les Francais). Also saw some Norwegian (or Scandinavian) people, and maybe a German guy. I didn't ask him how the weather is in Poland, however.

I had said that I'll post every Sunday. I'll do that on my other blog. I blame Howard for posting early, and forcing me to post early as well. Grrr...

Still waiting for element 80 to post on her blog ಠ_ಠ