A PSA To All Hackers

I promised to go back to my old writing style of connected nonsense. Well, I'm going to have to break that here for a bit, as I rant over hackers. If you don't understand a thing I'm saying, here's the TL;DR: Hackers suck.

Ookay, lets go. That's right, two "o"'s. Because I'm cool rike that. Recently, I was involved in a match of Conquest Domination in BFTree. Heh. Big fucking tree. Oops, profanity. I just stole the virginity of your angelic eyes. How did he do? Well, initially, the dude was doing crap. Going 3-11 within 5 minutes of the game. Oh, and while we're on topic, the dude's name is gordonwilliams56. Just in case an admin is reading this. Avoid this man at all costs (if he is a man at all). He was last seen on one of BBF's servers. The sensible players on the server had a nice chat about the dude. Judging by his noobiness, we assumed that he was a total noob (Captain Obvious was there, obviously). The match was fairly equal, with both sides roughly equal in terms of tickets (give or take 3 to 5 tickets per side, but that's to be expected). Then, all of a sudden, the bottom ranked player on the other team headshots me. Now, I was not very concerned with this yet, since he's still at the bottom of the list. I was starting to have suspicions, though, as people started asking "is this dude a hacker?" throughout the open channel. I didn't think much for the next 5 minutes, as the two sides were still fairly even. However, I did do constant scoreboard checks to make sure our marked man was only a false positive. If only that were the case. About 7 minutes later, and being headshotted again by the same dude, I knew something was up. The dude went balls out in hacking, and we finished the match in a disaster. The next match was coming up, so I decided to try as hard as I can to make his life miserable. I knew that smoke and suppression have no effect on the dude. What could I do? All I could do was to try to win in another method: capping flags. This worked initially, and throughout the middle half of the match. But the dude kept suppressing our team with his insane headshotting "skills". Luckily, I managed to kill him a number of times while he was reloading (the dude was too noob to press the "2" key to switch weapons... hehe). By the end of the game, he went 111-10. I rage quitted by this point.

Why would a person pay money to automate a game? Where's the fun in that? I'll just get bored after 5 minutes (after the novelty wears off). Seriously, if I can't play a game well, I either learn to play, or I quit the game completely. Why would you let a bot do something that you can accomplish yourself? Where's the fun in that? What's your sense of accomplishment, hacker? Is it your massively huge KDR? Or is it your insane killstreak? Neither of those things matter in Battlefield. Please go back to COD and may Athe strike you down with thunder.

So, rant over. Not really a rant, just an after actions report (AARP). I might do more of those for the future. Kinda like fanfic, except with military terms and stuff. Interested? Yes, no, toaster?

Ahh, so the phrase "Yes, no, toaster". Where did it come from? What does it mean?

Well, my dear, it's a term used by Quebecois, regardless of their primary language. It's a stereotype for them to perceive the rest of Canada as French-illiterate, and only capable of speaking and understanding the words "oui, non, toasteur" (which, is mighty accurate, mind you). It's obviously been Anglicized for English speakers. So why did I use it? What does it mean? It's used in speech to make sure the listener's listening, and fully understands what you're saying to them. Kinda like the words "right?" and "yaknowhatimean?". Try it out next time. It's funny for people who know what it means (kinda like a province wide inside joke).

So how did I hear of this? Cadets. Just like where I hear everything else from. I had a CO (commanding officer, for the military illiterate) who is an Anglophone from Montreal. She had a tendency to ask us that question every time she asked for clarification. We were all quite confused by the phrase; we all thought the "toaster" part was to throw us off to make sure we were still listening. We all half expected her to change the noun to something else, like "marshmallows", or "stapler". Nope. She stuck with it. And then she told us the meaning, just like how I spoiled it to you.

My other blog is getting massively personal. I should probably change a thing or two about it. You know, it's funny. This blog acts as a watchdog for the other blog, while the other blog acts as a watch dog for this blog.

All of a sudden, this blog post also ended. Good night, and good hunting.

Woah, there, I got too close. Should back off for a moment. And I won't clarify what I meant by those words. Only I will understand. I'll keep it contextually ambiguous by mentioning armoured vehicles I'll mention it on my other brog, then.

NO, ARMOURED IS SPELLED CORRECTLY, YOU YANKEE BASTARD!

/rant. LOL jokes. My rant's not over. At least, it's over for the Americans. Time for the French Canadians to take a beating.


JOKES AGAIN! You think I'll go around spewing hatred all over the place? THIS AIN'T MEIN KAMPF, BEH BEE!


So, the highlight of this week was probably my weekend. Spent a weekend in some French town (city? screw it. They're all called "ville"s anyways. What a vile way to call a city). I'll gradually release the stories over time. We'll start off with one of my old camp stories.

My friend (we'll call him by his callsign... Juliet *snicker*) and I were chilling in the sweating heat of the Bagotville summer day. Sierra (our other friend, obviously a callsign as well) was off somewhere reading his Tom Clancy book. It's gotten so hot that our fire detector's gone off twice already the day before because of (now, I'm just guessing here) the humidity. What does humidity have to do with anything, you ask? I have no idea. But the point was, it was raining so damn hard the night before, and it was so damn hot, that the entire base was saturated beyond a bronze-leaguer trying to macro. Our flight sergeant (Zulu) came along, assembled our flight (Charlie 4, Kiowa Flight), and told us to change for swimming (but to wear our PT gear over all that crap. We did as we were told, and we marched down to the parade square. The parade square is a flat, asphalt (is it asphalt? it was pink/red/thingish) with numerous benches and planes on it.

They placed car wash water pipes all around the place. Heck, they also had water balloons everywhere. Oh? What's that? You don't know what's a car wash water pipe? Think a rectangular structure made of a pipe, with holes poking out so water can spew out and wash a car. Yeah, they had that at the parade square.The water's pretty pressurized, and it's cold as hell. So you know what me and my friends did? We gathered up about 30 other cadets, and formed an impromptu flight. We slow marched through the 5 car wash gates. In slow march. SLOW MARCH. Meaning a step was taken every second, at a tempo of 60 steps per foot per minute. You actually feel like a car, with the ice cold water spraying at you at a high velocity. Not only that, but people started throwing water balloons at us, and giant beach balls pummeled the area like artillery shells.

This is probably one of my more formal posts. Shall I continue with more camp stories? Or more about my laifu?

  
"Ja, ja, nein nein, Apfelstrudel Hofmeister und Holsten Pils

Achtung Liebfraumilch in Porsche oompah Vorsprung durch Technik"

Just some wise words from the incredible Robert Bennington, as he sings us the (unofficial) lyrics of the European Anthem. EUROPE HAS AN ANTHEM??!? Yes, Victoria, there is a European anthem. It's Beethoven's 9th Symphony or something. Either that, or Ode to Joy. Whatever, I'm not a music major (heck, no one reading this even cares). Anyways, the official anthem has no words, to display the notion of equality among nations within the EU.

Hey, wait a minute. Doesn't EU stand for Etats-Unis in French? How the hell do they distinguish from the European Union? If they saw the English name on a sign, wouldn't it confuse the heck out of them? Just food for thought :S.

WOOT!! Me steadicam is done. All that's left is a lot of practice, and a lot of fapping to gain more arm muscles. The total mass is about 2 or 3 kilograms (which isn't much, I know), but once you hold it continuously for hours, it starts to get to you.

Wanna see a bit of my rapping skills? Well, here it goe-

HAH!!! GOTCHA! I ain't gonna rap here! That stuff's copyrighted material! I wouldn't wanna sue anyone... Heh...

In other news, I think I've solved my problem of the "phone". If I ever need a phone, I'll buy a Nexus 4 from Google and get a SIM prepaid card from some random carrier. Phone is $300, and service is around $10-$20. Sure, it's initially pretty expensive, but it pays off in the long run. It's equivalent to about 4 and a half months of paying for an iPhone with a plan.

First update on time in two weeks. Or was that three weeks? Doesn't matter. I still updated.

I've stopped playing WOT (thank athe), but now I've picked up SC2 again (athedammit). Oh, these games. Today, I got cheesed four times in a row. IN A ROW. I thought people stopped cheesing! WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE??!? But I seriously need to practice my skills over the summer... Need to get into platinum :D

Well, my 5 minutes with you is now over. Good night, and good luck.

HOTS

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.