that's right folks, we're back after over a decade of hiatus. why you might ask? well it's because i'm in an existential pickle. i've somehow managed to make it to a nice high finance job but i've never been less satisfied in a role. maybe i'll list out my grievances, in no particular order
- where the hell is my time going? what am i doing all day? i feel like i'm just doing pricing or jumping into investigative rabbit holes
- why am i incapable of coming up with new ideas for things? i feel like when i say things out loud my ideas sound incredibly dumb
- is there just like endless amounts of work? but somehow they're all higher priority than whatever projects i'm working on?
- is my team just chilling and doing their own thing meanwhile i'm just taking on all the BS work?
- why does it sometimes feel like my team just gets its way cuz management prioritizes us over others? am i just resting on the laurels of my predecessors? did they the reputation that i must now uphold?
- i low key hate managing relationships. it feels manipulative as hell
